HomeDO NOT recruit your friends and familyDo NOT Recruit Your Friends And Family Members!


Do not recruit your friends and family

Do NOT Recruit Your Friends And Family Members!

Let me repeat that… Do NOT recruit your friends and family members.

You can almost hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from all the industry gurus over me making that little statement.  I do however, stand behind those words 100%.

There are a multitude of reasons that you shouldn’t recruit your friends and family members.  And I’m certain that I’ll make posts in the future about more of them.  (As a matter fact I’m currently working on 2 more articles.)

So why don’t lets jump right in and start with the obvious reason you shouldn’t recruit your friends and family members.

 John Deckard - obvious

I don’t give a damn if you’re friggin’ Harvey Mackay and you have a contact manager with thousands of names, addresses, and phone numbers…eventually…you are going to run out of people you know (your warm market) to contact.

And then the question becomes…

“What do I do now?”

If the only way you have to build your business is recruiting friends and family members…you’re dead in the water…you don’t stand a chance…hate to have to be the one to break it to ya.

Here’s a little cold hard truth about this business…if you’re going to be successful in this industry…if you’re ever going to do more than just “dabble,” or hope to merely earn your money back…you’re going to have to learn how to prospect.

Prospecting is the life’s blood of this business.

I have to prospect. You will have to prospect. Your team members will have to prospect.

EVERYBODY in this business has to prospect!

Now let me ask you a fairly simple, straight forward question…

If you have to learn to prospect to be successful in this business, doesn’t it make sense that you should learn that skill right from the very beginning?

And furthermore, if you need to learn that skill from the very beginning…


In a nut shell…it’s because that’s what they were taught to do.  That’s all they know.  They’re not really lying to you, they’re not intentionally giving you bad information, they’re just teaching you the same bullshit they were taught.

But, it goes a little bit deeper than that, and I want you to stop and think about…why EXACTLY were they taught to recruit their friends and family members?

Seriously…think about it for a minute…I’ll wait…

John Deckard - waiting

There was a very good example in a passage of a book I just read, that talks about “How to create an endless supply of new leads.”

Are you curious to know how they recommend “creating” this endless supply of new leads?

You recruit just ONE PERSON.  You tell that ONE PERSON to make a list of all their friends and family members…then you have them start calling and recruiting them.  Every time they manage to recruit one of their friends, you have them instruct the friend to make a list of all their friends and family members.


And when they finally exhaust all of their personal contacts, what do you do?

You recruit ANOTHER PERSON.  And what you do with that person?  Tell them to make a list of all their friends and family!

Badda bing…you have created an endless supply of new leads for yourself!

That’s why they are teaching people to make a list of their friends and family members.

Your friends and family members are people that are easy for you to contact…that will at least listen to a presentation just because its you asking…but the REALITY is, it’s a way for your upline to get fresh new leads for themselves…its how THEY prospect!

Is it just me…or does that piss you off a little bit?

John Deckard angry

Now, in all honestly, I don’t believe that most of them do it to be deceitful…they are just repeating what they were taught.  It’s ALL that they know how to do.

If you asked those same people what to do after you run through your warm leads list, you’ll likely hear a bunch of “stuttering and stammering”…and then the only other answer they have ever heard…”Well…you could buy a list of leads and start calling those names.”

Again…it’s not really their fault…they simply don’t know any better.

They don’t have any other prospecting system in place.

And, if they don’t have any other way to prospect…how the hell could they possibly teach YOU how to prospect?

Plain and simple…they can’t.

But, as good fortune would have it…you don’t need them to teach you!

I’m gonna spell it out for ya…and we’re gonna turn you into a bona fide EXPERT at prospecting!

I do however, have to warn you…you’re not going to like some of what I teach you…and it’s not going to be “easy.”

You’re going to have successes…and TRUST ME…you’re going to have your fair share of failures.

As a matter of fact, when you’re first starting out, you’re most likely going to have more failures than you have successes.

That’s part of learning any new skill…so screw your head on right…suck it up…and understand that every failed attempt is a step in the path toward mastery of that skill.

Here’s a little bit of good news…

Nobody expects you to be an “expert” right out of the starting blocks…and, while you are acquiring the bumps and bruises of learning this new skill…even when failing miserably…you can still make a crap ton of money!

John Deckard dollar sign

Ok…down to the nitty gritty…

How does one become an “expert” at prospecting?

You…not me…YOU are going to pick ONE and only ONE form of prospecting…and YOU are going to spend the next six months to a year doing that form of prospecting EVERY SINGLE DAY…learning everything you can about it, WHILE you are doing it.

“But John…which one do I pick…which one is best…which one works?”

You’re not going to like the answer to those questions…nobody ever likes the answer…

The one you should pick…the one that is the best…the one that works…

Is ANYTHING that you will do consistently over a long enough period of time!

(Told ya you wouldn’t like the answer)

It doesn’t matter if you dress up like a giant banana, dance on a street corner, and hand out flyers.


As long as you dress like a giant banana every day, dance on that corner long enough, and pass out enough flyers, you will find people that want to buy your product, and join your business.

The point here is to just pick SOMETHING…pick ANYTHING…internet marketing, social networking, Facebook marketing, Twitter, blogging, 800 numbers, flyers, mailers, networking groups, sizzle cards, Chambers of Commerce, dressing like a banana and dancing on a street corner, the possibilities are endless…

The form doesn’t matter…the consistency, and the doing is what matters.

If you did the ridiculous banana thing every day for six months, I promise you that by the end of that time period you would know EXACTLY what time of day worked best, which dance moves worked best, what flyers people took, what ones they kept, and what ones they threw away. You’d know which people to approach, and which ones to avoid. You’d know how many flyers you used on a Saturday, and how many you’d go through in a week. You’d know exactly how many you would have to pass out in order to get a new customer…and you’d know how many customers it took to find someone interested in joining your banana team.

At the end of that six months…you would be an EXPERT at being a dancing banana…and you could TEACH anybody else how to do the same.

Now…am I telling you to run out and buy a banana costume?

Of course not!

The point I’m trying to illustrate is that the big mistake that people make is not sticking with anything long enough to become an expert. Typically, they will give something a “try”…and when they experience that first inevitable failure, the quit and say “that didn’t work!” Then they are off to try the next thing that catches their attention.

So, in all seriousness…what form should you pick…for real?

Why don’t we treat this like what it is…a “business decision”…and try to make an intelligent, well informed, conscience decision based on how we might find our “ideal” new prospect.

As an example, lets say I’m looking for someone that is outgoing, friendly, not afraid to speak to strangers, and willing to follow instructions…I might have some T-shirts made up that had the following printed on the back:

John Deckard tshirt design

(Get the shirt HERE)

Then all I would have to do is wear the shirt, and go about my daily activities, making a point of going places that have LOTS of people walking around.


Because anyone that tapped me on the shoulder, and introduced themselves would be outgoing, friendly, not afraid to speak to strangers, and willing to follow instructions! They would be introducing themselves as being my “ideal” new prospect!

(See it doesn’t have to be that difficult!)

So…define what your “ideal” prospect looks like…what they do…and where you might find them. Then pick a method…ANY METHOD that will put you in contact with those types of people. And dedicate the next six months to a year to becoming an expert at that method of prospecting.

Oh…and just in case I didn’t make it clear…Do NOT use your newly developed expertise to recruit your friends and family members! (More on that, coming soon!)

~John Deckard

Why do so many people fail at Network Marketing?  Find out HERE!



Do NOT Recruit Your Friends And Family Members! — 10 Comments

  1. Hello! I’ve been reading your weblog for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Texas!

    Just wanted to mention keep up the fantastic work!

  2. It may seem logical during start-up time to recruit the people we know and trust, but that simple step can cause serious problems for your organization in both the short term and the long term.

  3. Great Blog.. Got Me To Thinking About Myself.. I was Old Amway !! list man !! until i was NFL…LOL.. Make it an Excellent Day John and I appreciated the Straight Forwardness, <<a New word ??

    • Thanks Santos…the industry has certainly changed since back then!

      Let me know if you ever want to get back into the mix…I’d love to have another experienced player on the team!

  4. Feel like I need to “clarify” a bit…a friend of mine told me they “thought” that I wouldnt let them join my business because we are friends.
    I VERY much enjoy working with my friends and family…and I have quite a few of them join me in my business…BUT…every single one of them has joined the business because they WANTED too…NOT because I went out and “recruited” them.
    There is a HUGE difference between letting your friends and family know what you do…and “badgering/recruiting” them…
    I make it well known what I do…when the time is right in their life, and one of my friends ask about the business I ABSOLUTELY tell them about it!
    I love my business…and I love helping other people become successful…it’s a BONUS when one of those people is a friend/family member.
    Hope that clears things up!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *